Don't Tell Mr. Bell

Alexander Graham Bell never saw it coming. It truly baffles the mind. To think that phone technology has come so far in such a short amount of time.

I remember rotary phones. We had several in our house when I was a kid. They were attached to the walls. In the kitchen, in the hallway between my sister’s and my bedrooms (we had to share it-oh my), in the basement and a princess phone in my parent’s bedroom. You put your finger in the holes corresponding to the numbers and you twirled. Some women used pencils or pens to twirl so as not to destroy their nails. The dial made a cool clicking sound. The phones had cords. Long cords. My mother could walk half way around the house holding onto the phone from the kitchen. She could cradle that phone in her neck and cook dinner, fold laundry, iron, empty the dishwasher and bark orders at us all while talking on the phone.

Today’s phones, as modern and streamlined as they are always seem to cause problems. First…they get lost. Phone is ringing. Where is it? I miss so many calls because I can’t find the damn house phone. Oh, there it is. Stuffed between the cushions in the couch. Or hidden under a pile of papers. Oh no, the battery is low. Must dock it. But where is the phone??

And then there is the mobile phone/blackberry/iphone/smartphone. Mr. Bell is either rolling over in his grave or saying bravo and giving us a standing ovation.

What did we ever do without cell phones? Really, think about it. Back in the day there were an abundance of pay phones. My parents always told me to carry a dime in case I needed to make a call. Not so the case today. Public pay phones are pretty scarce. We need to carry cell phones. It’s necessary and responsible.

 

Today’s cell phones pretty much do everything except cook the dinner. But you can find an app for making restaurant reservations so I guess that covers it. My cell phones (American and Italian) are pretty basic. I don’t want all the bells and whistles. I have too many other things to do besides checking my facebook 5000 times a day.

My first cellular was gigantic. Almost the size of a regular phone. Over the years the phones got smaller, then larger again. All I need is to be able to call and text, take a few pics now and then and use the alarm clock when needed. Basic. I don’t really like talking on the cell phone. It’s not comfortable. Texting is easier. It would be easier if I had a qwerty keyboard on my phone, but I’m due for an upgrade, so I just might go that route. Keep it on the small side. No smart phone for me, thanks. No apps. Just a decent calendar.

And now let’s talk about cell phone etiquette. I DON’T NEED TO LISTEN TO YOUR CONVERSATION. I don’t want to know who broke up with whom. I don’t want to know what stocks you’re buying. I don’t give a crap. In the stores, restaurants, hair salons and just about everywhere you go people are having loud conversations on their phones. Why is it loud? Because cell phones do not have great sound connections. That’s a given. You move 5 feet in one direction and you lose the connection or it goes fuzzy or fades in and out.

My biggest pet peeve is when I am trying to help a customer and they refuse to get off their cell phone. Talking the entire time during the transaction. And so I talk louder. I know, I’m evil. If you are one of those people, well, put the fucking phone down. It’s terribly rude. I actually had a customer tell me to shush because they couldn’t hear their conversation. Are you kidding me?? It’s a wonder I didn’t throw a book at them. Yeah, that woulda hurt.

Take the conversation outside. These people are so engrossed in their conversations. I wonder what would happen if I doubled the price on their purchase. Would they even notice?

Cell phones are here to stay. For now. Who knows what the future will bring? And in a few weeks I’ll be looking for a new one. Purple perhaps?