Long Live Rock: The Good, The Bad and The Lyrical

Have you ever listened to rock lyrics? I mean REALLY listened to them. Yeah. Most are pretty bad. Don’t get me wrong. The music is awesome. It’s almost as if the lyrics are a second thought. Of course this is a generalization. Not ALL rock lyrics are horrendous. Just a lot of them are pointless. My opinion. And don’t get me started on some of the intensely heavy metal songs. If you can call them songs. Again, I love metal (not the growling songs) and I adore hard rock.

For years I’ve been writing and rewriting lyrics for several hard rock musicians in Italy. It’s a triple process. One musician has finally relented and lets me “create” the lyrics. Some of the others just want their “grammar” corrected.

Triple process= Italian dictionary + American rhyming dictionary + thesaurus. The difficulty lies in the translation. Italian DOES not translate the way we want it to. For that matter neither do most languages. So it comes down to reworking and re translating.

The lyrics I correct are fairly simple and not terribly sophisticated. I tweak them to make them work. Songs about love, heartache, passion blah, blah, blah. It’s rock. It’s blues. Great stuff.

The lyrics I write are not simple and very sophisticated. After finishing a song, my favorite rock musician said…ok Ellen…now you have to explain it to me! I love that. To the American ear, the song makes all the sense in the world. To the Italian ear, it needs a serious translation and analysis. It means I’ve done my job well!

Two of my favorite songwriters are Bob Dylan and Leonard Cohen. Yes, they both have vocals that sound like sandpaper on gravel. But to me, their lyrics are pure magic. And their music is wonderful. Another amazing band is Pink Floyd. The lyrics are so weird and wonderful. But of course I love them. After all, I sing in a prog rock band!

So turn on the radio. Listen to lyrics. But don’t think too hard. Just enjoy!

Happy Monday all! ROCK ON!!!

Out of the Bedroom and Onto the Bookshelves

It’s everywhere. Books, magazines, television, internet and sometimes in the bedroom as well. We’re talkin’ porn here.

A thousand moons ago it was hidden in brown paper wrappers and slipped under the mattress. Now it’s totally out in the open.

Pornography is big business but let’s get down to brass tacks. Let’s talk about the written word. In literature it’s called “Erotica”.

Erotica has been around forever. Well before my time at least. Yours too.

Sex manuals, poetry, badly written fiction and classic literature.

Some prime examples, which by the way are all still available:

The Kama Sutra-come on…it’s the sex manual deluxe.

Anais Nin-her writings are unbelievable. An old boyfriend once gave me an edition of her diaries.

Erica Jong-ah yes…Fear of Flying, how could we forget this classic? I still have it on my bookshelf!

The Joy Of Sex and Nancy Friday’s books and of course Cosmopolitan magazine. These days even men are reading Cosmo.

And now we have 50 Shades of Grey by E.L. James. I read all 3. Yes, I did. Why shouldn’t I? They sit less than 2 feet from my face at the cash wrap in my bookstore. Well, ONE of us had to read it. It was either that or The Hunger Games and since 4 of my colleagues read those…I decided to drink the poison and read 50 Shades.

OK…it’s not literary magic, but it’s a fun little story. OK, it’s a VERY sexually explicit story. Like half the stuff in there I never even heard of. People do THAT?? Holy crap.

I gotta give Ms. James a lot of credit for putting this stuff on paper (first it was an e-book) and selling it to the world. She has a great publicist. No, it’s not Anais Nin, but it’s a fast, fun read. I sell dozens of these a week. It’s very cute, really. Women are a bit embarrassed and then I tell them, pfft…EVERYONE is reading it. It’s true. I even saw a TSA officer reading it on the employee shuttle. A male TSA officer.

So last week I was visiting Mom in NY. There, in full view, on the coffee table was 50 Shades. After composing my thoughts I asked, who was reading it? Mom replied that she finished the first and was reading the second. I tried not to hyperventilate and I asked her if she learned anything. She said not really, She already knew all that stuff. Mamma mia.

Well, I’m not buying fur lined handcuffs anytime soon, but Christian Grey is quite a catch. He has his own helicopter and plane. That works for me!!

In the meantime, I’m back to reading better literature. If you need any recommendations, let me know!

Have a great week.

Alexander Graham Bell Part Deux

Last week my friend Cathy got a new phone. It’s a Droid and has a big screen. It’s really nice. To tell you the truth, I’m a little jealous. I want a new phone. I don’t think it’s happening anytime soon.

We’re on the family plan with the provider that starts with a V. You know that one. It’s ridiculously expensive. With this provider we have 4 cell phone lines, a land line, DSL line, wireless internet and cable. And this being said, the person who pays the bill does not want to add on any more features to our already enormous monthly bill.

NOT a qwerty keyboard!

Small, compact and 5 years old.

So where does this leave me?? With a non qwerty keyboard and a dying battery. As you can see from the photos…it’s not really old school but it’s pretty ancient. It takes lousy pics, takes forever to text and the battery has to be charged every 8 hours or so. For a phone without internet, that’s not good.

I stopped on my way home from work to the V store to see what I could do about it. I had an idea of what I wanted. A basic phone with a decent screen, qwerty keyboard, camera and a slide out keyboard because I’m not crazy about touch screen texting. I was shown the basic phone department. There were 3. Phones. Uh huh. THREE. And about half a million smart phones, droids, iphones. And 3 basic phones. The lovely young lady that was helping me said they were phasing out the basic phones. So what happens if you aren’t paying for a data plan? Oops.

All I want is a phone that takes good pics, that I can text and call from and an alarm clock. That’s all. The whole apps thing confuses the crap out of me. Yes, it would be nice to look up info when I’m not near my PC or laptop. I don’t want to read emails or go on facebook from a small hand-held device. I’m ok with coming home to do that.

So I need to choose between 3 phones. OK….I can do that. I used to get a free phone with my service upgrade. I’ve had this phone for 5 years. Not only is the new phone NOT free, it’s damn expensive and there is a service upgrade fee. What is UP with that?? Cathy got her phone for free. It’s just not fair. Pfft.

And so, it looks like I’ll be keeping my relic for a little while longer. Don’t panic if I don’t text you back right away. My battery has probably died again.

I’m in New York visiting Mom. Have a great week!

Hit the Road Jack

I love to travel. As far back as my memory takes me (which could be yesterday) I’ve always traveled.

Growing up, we traveled as a family. In my 20’s I traveled solo. Then with my husband and son. And now? Back to traveling solo again. My husband isn’t big on traveling. He’s a stay at home kind of guy. Me? I’ll travel anywhere. Even to the next state. I like the adventure of seeing and learning something new. New places. It’s like a quest.

I’m not big on the tour group thing. Been there. Done that. I don’t like being rushed. I’m all about history. Any kind of history. And so, visiting historical sights is a big passion. I want to see every detail. I also try to research and study about any place I’m visiting, whether it’s Tokyo or Mystic, Connecticut (yes, I DID watch Mystic Pizza. The pizza is actually pretty lousy).

I like getting involved with the locals. Even if I don’t speak the language. The first experience I had with that was in 1971. We were in San Francisco’s Chinatown. My Dad was determined NOT to eat in a touristy type place and so he found a great little dive. We were the only non Chinese customers in the place. I don’t remember what we ate, but I remember it being good. AND there were no forks on the tables. Chopsticks only.

Yes, yes of course one MUST visit the places that all the tourists go to. You HAVE to visit Piazza San Marco in Venice. It’s a must. It’s history. It’s beautiful. My first visit to Italy was filled with all the tourguide places. These days…if I need to be anywhere around Piazza San Marco, I walk quickly. I still look up to see the majesty of it all, but I don’t linger.

It’s nice to know people that live in the places you visit. You get a local point of view. I don’t mind being a tourist at all. I just prefer going to the out of way places. The little hole in the wall restaurants that have the best food.

I have this mental list (growing by the minute) of the places I want to visit. Some are very doable and some are a far reach. The downside is that travel is not cheap. Five star hotels are not an option. Actually, staying in family owned B&B’s are in fact, so much better.

Here’s my mental list. I wouldn’t call it a bucket list because the reality is that there are some places I probably will never visit. It’s a list in progress:

CLEVELAND, OHIO. Why?? You ask. Rock and Roll Hall of Fame I answer!

MONTREAL and QUEBEC, CANADA. I’ve been to Canada a few times, but I was too young to really appreciate it.

CHICAGO. I know….it’s true. I’ve never been there. I’ve been to almost every state in the USA but never to Chicago or

NEW ORLEANS. Both cities…for the jazz of course. And the food. You knew that, right?

ALASKA. The last frontier.

HAVANA, CUBA. Mainly for the music. And the food. Duh.

BRAZIL. Not during Carnival time.

SPAIN. The music. The culture. I’ve wanted to go there for as long as I can remember.

THE ORIENT EXPRESS. From Venice to Istanbul. The ultimate train adventure. I need to win the lottery for that one.

PARIS, PARIS, PARIS. Sooner than later. Maybe in a year from this October. Top of the list.

It’s a short list. For now. Yes, there are places in ITALY I would like to visit…but, since I go there a lot, it doesn’t count!

And now, I will travel to the supermarket. Not terribly far, but always an adventure!

Happy Labor Day. 

See you next week.