Framed and Fuzzy

It’s been several years since I had my eyes examined, so after much procrastination (and insurance changes) I made an appointment.

I’ve been wearing glasses since I was about 8 years old. Back then I was such a geeky looking kid with powder blue cat’s eye frames. I hated my glasses. When I was old enough for contact lenses I didn’t hesitate. They were the tiddely wink kind. Hard plastic. Green to match my eyes. Big enough to play beer pong with. I wore those for years and when the soft ones came out I wore those as well. But I still had glasses for all those times when I was too lazy to mess with the contacts.

One day I finally gave up the contacts and went back to wearing glasses full time.

My frames changed with the times. Eyewear, as they now call it, goes through fashion trends. I may not be trendy with my clothes but my glasses scream out, “this chick’s got style!”

So I called up my sister who just happens to be an optician and I asked her what’s new in the world of eyewear. She informed me none too gently that MY glasses were outdated and bigger is in. OK. Bigger may be in, but bigger doesn’t work on my face. In fact, I was noticing some of my customers and their eyewear and one young woman had on these HUGE frames. I said (in my open mouth insert foot way of speaking) wow…your frames are huge. She said she doesn’t wear glasses but liked the way they look on her. Um. OK. Wearing glasses when it’s not necessary. I don’t get it. My sister calls it geek chic. Whatever. I’m not going that big.

I used to need glasses for seeing far. I still do, but now I need then for seeing close as well. They call that bifocal. Or in my case trifocal. I still need to take off my glasses when I need to read the fine print. I definitely needed an upgraded prescription.

So I went to my local optician. I had my eyes examined. Things certainly have changed in the few years since I had my last exam. Technical things. It was fascinating. I was able to look at pics of my eye inside and out. The good news is that my eyes are healthy. The bad news is that I did a really lousy job with my eyeliner. Guess the camera doesn’t lie!

After the exam came the best part: choosing new frames. Sounds simple, but it’s not. Oh, the choices. Too many choices. And colors. Browns, blacks, blues. Reds. Green too. I’d been wearing brown for so many years that I decided to shake things up a bit. Red and purple. Not really red, more like a dark pomegranate. Antioxidant frames. Trendy? Yes. Functional? Definitely. After the custom lenses discussion (ultra thin, trifocal stuff, transitions, anti glare) I nearly had to scrape myself off the floor at what it would cost me. I know people who pay less in rent than what these glasses are costing me. But hey…it would have been more without insurance.

The doctor dilated my eyes. I haven’t had that done in ages. She said it would affect my close vision (a bit fuzzy) but I would have no problems driving. She was right. I drove right to the supermarket and couldn’t read a single label. Frustrated at not being able to read the Boca Burger label (looking at the carb count) I grabbed the usual box and hightailed it out of there.

My new “eyewear” will be ready in about 3 weeks. Just look for the chic chick with the coolest glasses around!