Legally Brunette

I once had a former colleague tell me that I reminded him of a Valley Girl. Clearly, he needed his eyes examined. First of all, let me make something perfectly clear: I was born and raised in New York. Long Island to be specific.

Valley Girls are blonde and leggy. I am brunette, usually, (we’ll get back to that later), petite and pleasingly plump. OK…short and fat. I am the furthest thing from a Valley Girl that you’ll ever find. I’m SO East coast.

Not that it would be so terrible to be a Valley Girl. All that California sunshine is a tempting alternative to Boston winters.

But I digress. Let’s get back to the hair thing. At this point I’m not quite sure what my original hair color is. When I have to fill out a form that asks for hair color, I stall a little. Uh…brown, red, blonde with a few grey strands thrown in for effect. As we get older we have to lighten up. It’s a well-known fact. Ask my friend Cathy.

Cathy reads all the fashion magazines. And Oprah too. She reads the magazines and I end up buying the products that are supposed to erase fine lines, lighten sunspots and put a glow back into this middle-aged skin. OK, I admit it. I am the quintessential product junkie. And the hair products. I could open a hair products store right out of my own bathroom. Curling gel, smoothing gel, sculpting mud, shampoo for color treated hair, shampoo for shine and bounce, conditioners for curly hair, conditioners for straight hair. The selection boggles the mind. Have you ever walked down the hair care aisle of your local CVS or Walgreens? Incredible. Don’t walk. Run to the nearest exit. Get out before it’s too late.

As for blondes having more fun? I don’t think so. I am SO not a Valley Girl. I’m legally brunette and I plan on staying that way!