Mommyisms

When I was a kid, my mother used to say to me, “Make sure you wear underwear that have no holes in it, so if God-forbid, you are hit by a truck crossing the street, the emergency room people won’t see torn underwear.” Now that I think about it, if I HAD been hit by a truck, there would have been more to think about than holes in my underwear. More like holes in my body.

Some of the things we were told as a kid just don’t seem to make sense. The logic of it is a bit skewed. Like when you are at the beach or pool and you’ve just had lunch and you’ve been told you can’t go swimming for at least a half hour. I had these visions of sinking like a lead weight if I even dared put a toe in the water. I understand that after a large meal, any strenuous exercise can give you a cramp. But a tuna fish sandwich? With beach sand in it? Oh that gritty memory. It pains my teeth.

I’ve passed things down to my own child: don’t stand with your face up next to the microwave; always wash your face before you go to bed (my Mom told me that too) and here’s the best one- don’t leave the game system cables lying on the floor because if I trip and break a body part, you are going to be grounded for life.

Now that my child is of legal age, things haven’t changed all that much. He questions authority constantly (I probably did the same when I was his age…) and cannot understand when I get upset over the little things such as him dropping his boat-sized sneakers in the middle of the dining room. Fortunately for me, I’ve caught myself before falling headfirst into the china cabinet.

And the clean plate club. Do any of you remember that? The dreaded liver and onions. Just the thought of it made me gag. “Finish the food on your plate and you’ll be in the clean plate club” OR “There are starving children in China. Finish your dinner.”  Starving children in China?? What does that have to do with liver and onions? The one time I said, “fine, pack it up and send it to them” I was sent to bed without dinner only to find it on my plate for breakfast. Lucky for me the school bus didn’t wait for children who didn’t eat their dinners for breakfast. The dreaded meal ended up in the trash. I’m sure the poor starving children in China thanked me profusely.

Every culture has their own Mommyisms. But when you boil it down, it really is all the same, isn’t it? We love our kids. We want the best of everything for them. Even if it means wearing underwear with no holes in it.